


you’ve got me smiling with tears in my eyes

by orphan_account



Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series), Buzzfeed: Worth It (Web Series)
Genre: Alcohol, Crying, Emotional Water Sign Steven Lim, Hurt/Comfort, Kissing, Little Sweetie Shane Madej, M/M, Rare Pair, Slow Dancing, idk they talk abt emotions!!!, idk this is prolly the only Shaven fic ever, the Tasty fam is there
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-19
Updated: 2018-07-19
Packaged: 2019-06-13 02:55:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,189
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15354669
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: it’s not you,it’s the glow of the party,the way that you’ve got me lit up inside,it’s the songs that they’re playin’,the words that you’re sayin’__________Steven is emotional, they talk about it on the roof.





	you’ve got me smiling with tears in my eyes

**Author's Note:**

> this is just a gratuitous rare pair fic that I’m posting mainly for myself and for my dear andy, y’all are sleeping on Shaven (that’s their ship name and I refuse to change it). Title is from Happy and Sad by Kacey Musgraves. (yeehaw).

Shane’s only been in the Tasty kitchen once prior to Steven inviting him to the Worth It wrap party. Just once for some offhand video a long time ago, pre-Unsolved and pre, pre, pre dating Steven. Pre even catching Steven’s eye.

It’s changed a lot, for the better of course. Attractive tile backsplash and broad marble counters, covered with food and drinks for the wrap party now. It’s a much softer environment than good ol’ Ghoul HQ, and he thinks it’s only fitting that Steven is in here often. Shane shifts his beer from one hand to the other, feeling it sweat against his palm while he watches Steven hug Adam and Andrew around their necks giddily.

It’s also much quieter than any of he and Ryan’s wrap parties have been. Much more reserved and less trashy drinks. Rie said the beer she gave him was craft and he noticed Andrew drinking something expensive looking in a tumbler, held at Steven’s waist as they hugged. There’s still tons of people here though, voices murmured over the gentle music they have playing, something Steven said Annie picked.

He can tell he’s out of place, technically. Steven brought his weird, overly tall boyfriend to their wrap party. Shane leans against one of the counters and smiles nonetheless, soaking up all the people congratulating Steven. The shy, pleased look on Steven’s face is everything to Shane. He deserves all of this and more in his opinion.

Steven makes his way over to Shane just as he’s taking another swig of his beer. His face is flushed and there’s a smile on his lips as he tilts his chin up to kiss Shane’s scratchy cheek. He wraps an arm around Steven, setting his beer down on the counter.

“Hey, darlin’,” he greets. He doesn’t fight back against the proud grin that slides onto his face. Four whole seasons and another season already green-lighted by the company. It’s just amazing to him. All of this came out of Steven’s hard work.

“Hi, I feel like I’ve been ignoring you, I’m sorry,” Steven murmurs, cheek resting on Shane’s shoulder. He waves him off, shaking his head at him. Steven smells like something sweet and almost sticky. It reminds Shane of the caramel apples they got at a food truck on their second date. Nostalgic and comfortable.

“I’m fine. It’d be lame if you were just hanging out with me the whole time,” Shane points out and shrugs. Steven hums and pulls back to look at Shane, fingers twisting together with his. The party is dimly lit, casting a faint glow behind Steven’s head. He’s struck with how gorgeous he is with his chin tilting up towards Shane in that soft, warm way.

“I kind of wish I was,” Steven confesses sweetly. He looks sheepish when he says it and Shane can’t help but chuckle, endeared. No one around them is really paying attention, except for Rie who gives Shane a knowing look. She’s protective of Steven, really they all are, but Shane thinks maybe she’s one of the only ones who really knows how sensitive Steven is. Shane’s decided she’s his favorite out of all of Steven’s friends.

Rie looks away from him and sips at her drink from across the room, purposefully giving them privacy as Andrew chats with her. It’s odd. With Steven it always feels like they’re having some secret conversation. Like they’re the only two who’d ever understand it. Their secret moments in a crowded room. He kisses Steven gently like he’s wanted to do all night, tries to express how proud he is within those few seconds. Steven melts into it and squeezes his hand.

He pulls back slowly with a furrowed brow, looking between Shane and everyone around them. Shane cups his cheek and feels distantly like he’s done something wrong. Steven glances back up at him.

“I’m overwhelmed. Can we— get some fresh air?” he asks in a hushed voice. There’s something wrong. Maybe there’s too many people in here, maybe Steven’s battery is just running low now after talking to everyone. Either way, Shane nods and looks up to map out a path to the stairwell. There’s a patio one floor up. He remembers meeting Steven for lunch once up there.

“Here, I know where we’ll go,” Shane mumbles, pushing off the counter. He grabs his beer in the hand that isn’t holding Steven’s. It looked expensive and he doesn’t want Rie to think he doesn’t like it.

They trail past the main group in the kitchen, Rie and Adam catching their eyes briefly. Rie furrows her brow at them, mouth opening as if she’s about to ask him something. But she closes it and whispers something instead to Adam. That makes him a little nervous as they weave through the small crowd sitting on the couches and chairs. Steven’s grip is tight, like he’s worried Shane’s going to get swallowed up in Tasty employees. He looks back at Steven when they make it to the door to the stairwell at the back of the party.

“Patio okay?” he says over the music. It’s louder over here. Annie has good taste. Steven nods and he pushes the door open into the echoey hallway of the stairwell. The drab, yellow light blankets them, turning Steven’s bleached hair into a buttercup yellow. Shane smiles at him and leads him up the stairs.

The sun is setting when they get out onto the patio, a pastel blue and orange sky meeting them. There are outdoor lights strung up and dark green hedges and other potted plants surrounding the couches under the awning. It looks exactly the same as the last time they were up here, but the sky is spectacular. Shane’s always been a bit of a sunset enthusiast.

“Look at that,” Shane whistles as they lean against the concrete edge of the building, looking out at the sprawling city. LA is a contrived mess but it really is beautiful. Beside him Steven sighs, the shuddery kind of sigh.

Shane looks over at him, hand resting on the small of his back. He can’t read his face, which always frustrates him, and he strokes his thumb against his back in an attempt to comfort Steven.

“Hey, Steven, you okay?” he asks gently. Steven nods, eyes still cast to the city as he does. Shane watches the side of his face, hair ruffling softly in the wind. The music from downstairs is muffled and he can’t really tell what song it is.

“I’m sorry, I really am just overwhelmed,” Steven answers with a fragile voice. Gazing at the sunset like he doesn’t know what to do with it. Shane frowns, hand going to the nape of Steven’s neck.

“I’m sorry, did I— was it something someone said? Was it something I said?” Steven quickly shakes his head and turns to him. Dusk looks so beautiful on Steven. His breath catches in his throat at the sight.

“No, no Shane. It’s not anybody. It’s not you,” he reassures. There’s a smile on his face.

Shane knows Steven’s emotions don’t quite match up sometimes. It’s the complete opposite to Shane’s own streamline emotions and reactions. It took him some time to get used to it, and he still hasn’t gotten over the helpless feeling he gets when he sees Steven overwhelmed over something that can’t be touched or fixed or described in a word.

“Okay. Can you explain it to me?” Shane gentles, his hand squeezing Steven’s arm and rubbing up and down comfortingly. It’s warm out here. That settled down kind of warm LA gets as the sun goes down and the dryness leaves the heat. They both love this time of day.

Steven is quiet for a bit, eyes downcast as he chews at his lip. He sniffs and Shane stills. Tears are going to follow soon. He looks back up at Shane with glossy eyes.

“I’m just really happy, Shane. I just— love my friends and I love my job. And I can’t believe we’ve done this much, and then we came out here with the sunset and the lights and—,” he says, voice choked as a few tears spill out and finally the dam breaks and Steven is full on crying.

“Hey, it’s okay,” Shane comforts and pulls him into his chest, hair tickling his chin. His boyfriend pulls back some, hands resting on Shane’s chest.

“Don’t think I’m sad, please. I’m not,” he croaks tearfully and smiles with a furrowed up brow. Shane cups his cheek and wipes a tear away. There’s immediately another one in its place. Shane hushes him.

Steven shakes his head and covers Shane’s hands with his own.

“No, let me— let me say this,” he breathes, “I just love you so much. And it just hit me so hard in there, that I just— I just—“

Shane searches his face. “Just what, baby?”

A fresh bath of tears streak down Steven’s face and he sobs a little.

“I just feel like I finally have everything I want,” he cries with a huge smile on his face.

“ _Steven_ ,” Shane coos, heart bursting a little as he pulls Steven to his chest again. He gives him a long squeeze, pressing his lips into his hair and closing his eyes. Breathing in that deep sentimental smell that follows Steven.

He’s getting choked up himself, the pride he feels for Steven growing in the gooey, emotional parts of himself. Steven brings it out of him. That mushy, soft center of him. He’s like the soft caramels Steven keeps in the container on his desk for when he’s having a bad day, or a really good day, or a boring day. There’s never a special occasion needed for Steven to indulge in any kind of softness. Shane decides to indulge a little himself.

“I am _so_ proud of you, you have no idea Steven. I can’t even put it into words. You deserve all of this, you deserve to have everything you want,” he declares against Steven’s hair. He kisses his forehead.

“And I love you so much. I have everything I want too.”

Steven pulls back some and gives him a wobbly, adoring smile, hand coming up to touch his cheek. His slender fingers splay across Shane’s cheekbone and he angles up to kiss him again. It’s delicate and just a little salty from Steven crying. Shane’s never felt so loved in his life. On the roof with the man he loves.

They kiss for a few moments before Steven draws away to catch his breath. Shane wraps his arms around him tightly.

“I’m sorry I’m so weird sometimes,” he sniffles, laughing a bit and wiping at his eyes, “Annie says it’s because I’m a water sign.”

A burst of laughter escapes Shane and he does that crinkly eyed smile that Steven’s always thought makes him look extra handsome. He smiles up at Shane, tears still in his eyes. He loves him so much.

“Don’t apologize. It’s really sweet that you feel stuff so much. It’s admirable. All that gold you and Andrew eat has gone to your heart,” Shane jokes, poking at Stevens chest. Steven laughs brightly and flushes just a little.

“Softie,” Steven mutters between a grin and pokes him back.

It’s dark out now, and the glow of the lights makes Shane feel especially romantic and spontaneous. The music downstairs is something slower paced now and there’s something so lovely about the way it’s muffled. He looks up at the lights and the vines, Steven’s eyes following.

“It’s really nice out here, huh?”

“Yea, I’ve never been out here when the lights were on,” Steven hums. Shane looks back down at him and takes him by the hand.

“Could be nice to have a little dance,” he says casually. Steven beams at him. He loves gestures like this, likes to pretend they’re in a movie with a heartbreaking soundtrack and warm lighting. Here they are now.

“I’d like that.”

Shane tugs him back from the wall by the hand into the open space on the patio, before pulling him in close and holding his waist. Steven’s hand rests on his shoulder, his other clasped in Shane’s.

They sway together slowly, turning in time with the diluted music. He can feel Steven’s breath against him and feels his heart fluttering. Fresh tears in his brown eyes. He’s the pinnacle of being alive.

“I really meant it, when I said I’m proud of you,” Shane whispers and presses his forehead against Steven’s. “You’ve put in so much hard work. And you deserve what you’re given.”

“You’re gonna make me cry again. I’m proud too, of everybody,” Steven murmurs. The music downstairs gets quieter but they keep dancing all the same.

“And—And I’m proud of myself.”

Shane smiles broadly, kissing Steven’s forehead and leaving his lips pressed against his temple.

“Good. You should be.”

It’s almost as if Annie knows they’re up here slow dancing like it’s senior prom because another soft song comes on for them and Steven laughs suddenly.

“Spin me!” he shouts. Shane chuckles and lets go of Steven’s hand, stepping away a little to spin him. It starts off graceful but somewhere along the way their long limbs get confused and tangled up. He ends up hugging Steven from behind awkwardly.

“This is what I would imagine octopi look like when they mate,” Steven says thoughtfully. Shane laughs loudly at the outrageous statement and the way Steven says _octopi_. He squeezes him tighter.

“You say the weirdest things sometimes,” Shane chuckles as they sway together with Shane’s arms around him and his chin resting on the top of his head. Steven giggles.

“You were thinking it too.”

“As oddly specific of a statement as it was, yes I was.”

Steven turns around in his hold to look at him, arms wrapping around his neck. Shane’s hands find his waist again. They’re barely even turning anymore now, Steven’s distracting him pulling him down by the sides of his face for another long kiss, fingers stroking through Shane’s hair.

When he pulls away he makes a strange suction noise with his mouth and Shane barks out a laugh again.

“ _What_ was that?”

“Octopus noise,” Steven says, like it was so obvious, before resting his head under Shane’s chin again.

There’s a beat of silence after Shane calms his laughter down until Steven sighs tiredly and wistfully.

“I think I cried so much I’m dehydrated. I’m so tired now,” he moans, voice muffled against Shane’s chest. His feet are lazy and so are Shane’s. There’s no opposition from Shane to just ditch the party and go home. It’s getting late anyways.

“We could just go home, if you want. It sounds like it’s winding down anyways. Annie’s played like three slow songs in a row,” Shane mumbles. The beer Rie gave him is still sitting on the wall and he looks at it a little guiltily. He’d only taken a sip from it. He worries a little that Steven’s friends will think he’s being rude by taking Steven home after stealing him for the majority of the party.

Then Steven yawns and Shane makes up his mind. As much as he wants Steven’s friends to like him and think he’s not clingy, his boyfriend _did_ just have a meltdown.

“Come on, lets hope Rie isn’t too mad at me,” Shane jokes and lets Steven lean on him as they walk towards the stairwell, Shane sweeping up his beer as they go. Steven gives him a puzzled look and pulls back while they walk down the stairs.

“Why would she be mad?” he questions. Shane shrugs and rubs the back of his neck.

“I don’t know. ‘Cause she’s like— your big sister. She probably thinks I made you upset. She looked confused when we were leaving,” he explains nervously. Maybe they all think Shane is too analytical for Steven, that he’s going to say something stupid and inadvertently break his heart. Steven stops them at the door to go back into the party.

“Hey, do you think they don’t like you?” he asks softly, brow furrowed.

Shane rubs the back of his neck again. His stupid craft beer is sweating in his other hand.

“Well, I _want_ them to like me. I didn’t even finish this fucking drink Rie gave me,” he mumbles. Steven gives him a look and takes the bottle from him, taking a sip of it. He promptly makes a disgusted face as he swallows.

“Of course you didn’t, that’s awful. Maybe she _doesn’t_ like you—“

“ _Steven_.”

“I’m kidding. I think— well I mentioned that you were coming. And that you liked beer, so she was just— trying to make you feel welcome,” Steven says, sounding endeared. Shane looks at the bottle again and smiles, chest feeling warm. Steven leans against the door and looks sheepish.

“And uh, Annie was playing stuff off of your Spotify. She asked me what it was while we were setting up,” Steven admits, blushing a little. Shane gives him a long look and feels incredibly touched. He knew he recognized all those songs. “That was another reason I was so emotional. They were all really excited about hanging out with you and then I had to go and hog you the whole party.”

The confused look on Rie’s face makes sense to him now. She probably thought he wasn’t having a good time and that’s why he was leaving with Steven. He’s so stupid.

“Now _I’m_ gonna cry. I was so worried they weren’t gonna like me, Steven,” Shane rushes out and laughs, relieved. Steven shakes his head at him quickly and looks at him in disbelief, God he can feel his eyes welling up with tears again. Shane is too sweet.

“Of course they like you. Why wouldn’t they? They know how happy you make me. Everybody in the world does,” Steven implores and wraps his arms around his neck in a tight hug. The beer in Steven’s hand brushes against Shane’s ear and he ignores it to hug him back, squeezing his eyes shut and smushing his face into Steven’s neck.

Steven pulls away, a hand settling on the door handle.

“We should stay for a few more minutes. If you’d like to,” he suggests, handing Shane his beer. Shane nods.

“I’d love to. It sounds like Annie’s gettin’ into the good stuff now,” Shane jokes, goofily pressing his ear up against the door just to make Steven laugh.

They push open the door and fall back into the party, a drunk Patrick clapping Shane on the shoulder when they pass him and Rie waving at them across the room. Shane makes sure to give her a big smile and raise his beer at her, which makes her beam.

Steven presses close into his side and feels a new, calmer set of emotions wash over him, gentle this time. Contentment and love and warmth. He hopes Shane can tell what he feels with the look he gives him in the dim glow of the party. 


End file.
